nice try, though
Sometimes an invention comes along that is a really good idea, but is just not doable because you’d look like too much of a douchebag using it. This is one of those inventions:

This Japan’s Umbrella Shoulder Holder that let’s you keep your both hands free in the rain to carry your stuff! It shaped likes a snake, you just attach the handle of umbrella to red wire sausage and knot around your sholder. Available in Amazon Japan for JPY 2,499(about $26)