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Showing posts tagged fail
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10 Dating Dealbreaker Words
*courtesy of howaboutwe
If any of the following words even come up in a serious conversation, you should run and hide:
- Rape whistle
- Chlamydia
- Prison
- Bleeding
- MySpace
- Pimp
- Alimony
- Chloroform
- Kevin Federline
- “What gender are you?”
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Random Fact of the Day
Daily you will breath in 1 liter of other
peoples’ anal gases.*Friendship Between Nations (FBN) conducts meticulous, exhaustive, and frankly pain-staking research to ensure the Random Fact of the Day is 100% accurate. Today’s fact of the day is courtesy of Current TV.
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Random Fact of the Day
The most common time for breakups is around three to five months.
*Friendship Between Nations (FBN) conducts meticulous, exhaustive, and frankly pain-staking research to ensure the Random Fact of the Day is 100% accurate. To read more about today’s RFOTD click here.
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The Most Expensive Dog In The World
This 11-month old Red Tibetan Mastiff named Big Splash, or “Hong Dong” in Chinese, was just purchased by a Chinese coal baron for 1.6. million dollars.
That bitch is a real high dollar hottie!
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Random Fact of the Day
An average person’s yearly fast food intake will contain 12 pubic hairs.
Friendship Between Nations (FBN) conducts meticulous, exhaustive, and frankly pain-staking research to ensure the Random Fact of the Day is 100% accurate. To read more about today’s RFOTD click here.
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Random Fact of the Day
A 12-year old’s science project showed that the ice at fast food restaurants was dirtier than toilet water.
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F**k My Life: Intimacy Edition
Some recent gems I found on fmylife:
Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don’t know what to say to him. FML
Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered “sperm” into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML
Today, after sex, my boyfriend turned to me and said, “You know, sometimes, you look like Kevin Spacey.” FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn’t notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said “Oh, I was just thinking about you!” Not a good idea. FML
Today, while in bed with my fiancée, I asked her to take off her pants so we could get it on. She said, “No, I don’t feel like squeezing into them again.” I was cockblocked by a pair of jeans. FML
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word “masturbation” in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
