Do you ever get pissed off about animals? Well a dear friend recently introduced me to a brilliant site called Fuck You, Penguin (www.fupenguin.com) which is basically a blog where this guy rants about various animals and why they fail at life.

******The following is a post from the website******

Beavers think they’re so fucking clever

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s animals that try to live their lives like high-concept performance pieces. I bet this beaver literally shit his pants when he saw this sign (which is most likely why he is not wearing pants). “Oh man,” he probably thought to himself, tapping his fingers together, “it says no feeding. But the sign’s post is made out of wood. This is going to be better than the time I made a dam out of copies of Salmon Rushdie’s The Satanic Verses.”

Well guess what, fucker? TIME MAGAZINE SAID IRONY DIED LIKE EIGHT YEARS AGO. So you are completely behind the times, and your little stunt looks more like a fucking joke now. Time to go back to the drawing board, Beaver. Next time, there better be a sharper exploration of the existential plight of rodents, or I’m not coming back.

—Do you think this is a real beaver, or did the beaver replace himself with a replica to signify the out-of-body experiences we all live with on a daily basis?

Posted 2 years ago

Tags: Internets, love it, animals,

Darwin Fail

Okay, here’s a tough one:

You are trapped in a storm drain with a working cell phone. Do you:

a) Call the police

or

b) Update your facebook status

This past Sunday night, two girls from Australia, aged 10 and 12, chose “b” when they somehow managed to get themselves stuck in a South Australian drainage well system. I’m not kidding. They used their cell phones to access facebook and updated their statuses.