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Colonics: What’s up with that Shit?

Dear Friends, here’s the deal: There is NO scientific research to support the idea that colonics have health benefits. In fact, there is no scientific research substantiating the claim that our colons need any kind of cleansing. At best colonics are harmless vessels of a placebo effect… at worst, they can be harmful and in rare cases, cause death. I’ve had two colonics done. Afterwards, I felt like something positive might have happened for my colon, but ultimately, I was just out a couple hundred bucks. Point is, I understand the lure.

Now my colon and I reside in Los Feliz, CA. We have come to an understanding: I don’t micromanage, and he’ll do his job. The following is an excerpt from a Penn and Teller: Bullshit episode. If that doesn’t convince you not to pay someone to ram a hose up your ass, I also have provided an illuminating article from quackwatch.org.

*the following is courtesy of quackwatch.org. For the full article, including a comprehensive list of references and legal action against practitioners of gastrointestinal quackery, please click here: http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/gastro.html

Gastrointestinal Quackery: Colonics, Laxatives, and More

Stephen Barrett, M.D.

The importance of “regularity” to overall health has been greatly overestimated for thousands of years. Ancient Egyptians associated feces with decay and used enemas and laxatives liberally. In more recent times, this concern has been embodied in the concept of “autointoxication” and has been promoted by warnings against “irregularity.” [1]

The theory of “autointoxication” states that stagnation of the large intestine (colon) causes toxins to form that are absorbed and poison the body. Some proponents depict the large intestine as a “sewage system” that becomes a “cesspool” if neglected. Other proponents state that constipation causes hardened feces to accumulate for months (or even years) on the walls of the large intestine and block it from absorbing or eliminating properly. This, they say, causes food to remain undigested and wastes from the blood to be reabsorbed by the body [2].

Around the turn of the twentieth century many physicians accepted the concept of autointoxication, but it was abandoned after scientific observations proved it wrong. In 1919 and 1922, it was clearly demonstrated that symptoms of headache, fatigue, and loss of appetite that accompanied fecal impaction were caused by mechanical distension of the colon rather than by production or absorption of toxins [3,4]. Moreover, direct observation of the colon during surgical procedures or autopsies found no evidence that hardened feces accumulate on the intestinal walls.

Today we know that most of the digestive process takes place in the small intestine, from which nutrients are absorbed into the body. The remaining mixture of food and undigested particles then enters the large intestine, which can be compared to a 40-inch-long hollow tube. Its principal functions are to transport food wastes from the small intestine to the rectum for elimination and to absorb minerals and water. Careful observations have shown that the bowel habits of healthy individuals can vary greatly. Although most people have a movement daily, some have several movements each day, while others can go several days or even longer with no adverse effects.

The popular diet book Fit for Life (1986) is based on the notion that when certain foods are eaten together, they “rot,” poison the system, and make the person fat. To avoid this, the authors recommend that fats, carbohydrates and protein foods be eaten at separate meals, emphasizing fruits and vegetables because foods high in water content can “wash the toxic waste from the inside of the body” instead of “clogging” the body. These ideas are utter nonsense [5].

Some chiropractors, naturopaths, and assorted food faddists claim that “death begins in the colon” and that “90 percent of all diseases are caused by improperly working bowels.” The practices they recommend include fasting, periodic “cleansing” of the intestines, and colonic irrigation.

Fasting is said to “rejuvenate” the digestive organs, increase elimination of “toxins, and “purify” the body.”

Cleansing” can be accomplished with a variety of “natural” laxative products.

Colonic irrigation is performed by passing a rubber tube through the rectum. Some proponents have advocated that the tube be inserted as much as 30 inches. Warm water—often 20 gallons or more—is pumped in and out through the tube, a few pints at a time, to wash out the contents of the large intestine. (An ordinary enema uses about a quart of fluid.) Some practitioners add herbs, coffee, enzymes, wheat or grass extract, or other substances to the enema solution.

[Hello, Jessica here. I omitted a big section about laxatives and other shit. PUN JOYFULLY INTENDED.]

Colonic irrigation, which also can be expensive, has considerable potential for harm. The process can be very uncomfortable, since the presence of the tube can induce severe cramps and pain. If the equipment is not adequately sterilized between treatments, disease germs from one person’s large intestine can be transmitted to others. Several outbreaks of serious infections have been reported, including one in which contaminated equipment caused amebiasis in 36 people, 6 of whom died following bowel perforation [7-9]. Cases of heart failure (from excessive fluid absorption into the bloodstream) and electrolyte imbalance have also been reported [10]. Direct rectal perforation has also been reported [11]. Yet no license or training is required to operate a colonic-irrigation device. In 1985, a California judge ruled that colonic irrigation is an invasive medical procedure that may not be performed by chiropractors and the California Health Department’s Infectious Disease Branch stated: “The practice of colonic irrigation by chiropractors, physical therapists, or physicians should cease. Colonic irrigation can do no good, only harm.” The National Council Against Health Fraud agrees [12].